Stop making that face!

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future

As a great poet once said "the future is war!"
A war on what?

My war as of late is that of the necessity of having something to do: a job. Can I find one, do I want one, do I get one and then go to school, do I go to another country, do I buy a boat, etc?

What I want is to not "have to" do anything? There is a lot of pressure with that, you dig.

My acceptance average is 67%

So I didn’t get in to davis. Which means no PhD program next year or maybe ever? Not that I knew what I wanted to do, which is something that should have been in my quiver before I aimed at this program. Sure I wasn’t necessarily “ready”, but who likes to be rejected? I may have set myself up to fail, applying to the number one department in the country, it makes one feel better that many others got rejected too. It just sounded like it could have been such an adventure, not that I’d place all or very many of my apples in this basket, I remained wholly pessimistic throughout. I can have adventure elsewhere too, but with a PhD I could have been that dude that everyone thinks is the commander.

I’d like to abstract everything and say that it is all guesswork and then certain goals and such can feel less important. More than goals it’s a time frame, in science a “time horizon,” in which to complete said goals. It’s very easy to become enveloped into the mindset of I need to do this, this, this and this by then, in that order. Otherwise sometimes I feel like I am just waiting – like the present it just the intermediary to it, it being the time and place when I don’t feel like I am waiting but I am doing.

So now what: worker, parasite, party, other?

1990

Butter flies are radical
First it' a small caterpillar God made.
It's kind of like a spider becase (sic) it makes a web so it doesn't fall in it's food. Then it makes a cocoon and for a few days cocoon is a goldish color. Days later it finally is a beautiful butter flie.

Butter flies are narly.