As long as its talking with you, talk of the weather will do.

As long as its talking with you, talk of the weather will do.

As long as its talking with you, talk of the weather will do.

As long as its talking with you, talk of the weather will do.

As long as its talking with you, talk of the weather will do.

As long as its talking with you, talk of the weather will do.

As long as its talking with you, talk of the weather will do.

As long as its talking with you, talk of the weather will do.

As long as its talking with you, talk of the weather will do.

As long as its talking with you, talk of the weather will do.


As long as its talking with you, talk of the weather will do.

As long as its talking with you, talk of the weather will do.

As long as its talking with you, talk of the weather will do.

As long as its talking with you, talk of the weather will do.

As long as its talking with you, talk of the weather will do.

As long as its talking with you, talk of the weather will do.

As long as its talking with you, talk of the weather will do.

As long as its talking with you, talk of the weather will do.

As long as its talking with you, talk of the weather will do.

As long as its talking with you, talk of the weather will do.


As long as its talking with you, talk of the weather will do.

the weather - built to spill

Do you want it to be outside, in the cool night, where the stars gravitate toward you.
Do you want it to be outside, in the cool night, where the fog wraps itself around you.
Do you want it to be outside, in the sunshine, where the clouds take their places for you.
And the wind and snow, and the rain that blows; none of those would matter much without you.
As long as its talking with you, talk of the weather will do.
Do you want it to be outside, in the cool night where the stars gravitate toward you.
Do you want it to be outside, in the sunshine where the song keeps itself inside you.
And the wind and snow, and the rain that blows; none of those would matter much without you.
Nobody's hoping for better days;Noone knows what to do.
You're okay in your secret place,Noone bothering you.
It might save time if I meet you there,but I don't care, I'd rather wait for you .
When noone's home and the weather's fine,I'd rather wait for you
When noone's home and the weather's fine,I'd rather wait for you.

today i saw a women with probably the largest posterior to overall body size i have ever seen.

i did some work. i have some more to do.

i am beginning to realize that this should work, even if its not ideal.
but i tell myself, and i think its true, that i would leave if i had too.

schedule. i want one.

so emotional.
sometimes i cry more than i need too.
or maybe i don't.

i am going to float on with this, and try to remember that when you live in the future, you lose the present.

i forsee myself getting used to the routes between here and my lover.
and that sounds ok with me.

i havent been a good friend to most as of late. i am sorry for that. but i don't know if i would do it differently, had i the chance. forgive me. and lets build the bridges again.

Ohio - modest mouse

Took a bus straight to Baltimore
On the way he took a nap
Dropped off a note that said "I'm giving this note back"
PS- There's a lot going on underneath
There's roots there's pipes, there's drainage leaks
You're on, you're wrong, Ohio
Truly sorry, I see clearly
Calmly crashing, I pace faster than anyone
Hinges rusting, they swing louder than anything
Truly lonely this place is flatter than it seems
I'm upset and I leave the doors wide open
Our hearts are used up, cracked and dry
Pulled the scabs off of regrets
We haven't learned to eat our conscience yet
Truly sorry, I see clearly
Hardy hoping, I spend it all on game machines
Calmly crashing, I pace and I figure out again
One hand clapping, awake but napping
Rows of lights to illuminate lines
Why don't they turn them off and let us see night
Drove crazed grooming my lies
You can't look in on one way eyes, Ohio

my thoughts still gravitate her way.
my stomach is still rumbling.

i havent brushed my teeth in days.

my stomach is still upset and my head is still heavy.

my sleep was filled with realistic, unwanted dreams. not nightmares, but bad dreams in which things that are not monsters, that are "bad" happen. but that are also things that could happen, it was like that scene from "the birthday girl." it was real enough to make it a little worrisome.

i wake up on the couch and the dog is at my feet. i try to battle the sunshine off my face but the window and lack of functioning window covers do not make this an easy task. i get up. watch the news. eat about 7 stale cherrios, i dont have a toothbrush here. i ask the dog "want to go out" and with reluctance she comes off the couch, but she doesn't want to go out. she stands aways as i open the door. i coerce her by exiting the house myself and she followed. grandpa's feeds her some of what he eats. i offer her pick 'n save white bread which she doesnt want. he leaves the t.v. on for her, i switched the news off enough violence for her and left her with the cartoons on.

property of u.s. government - not for sale. the va hospital is a bit different than other hospitals, its a bunch of smaller buildings that are not connected, which makes it seem not as formidable, more warm than most of the gigantic hospitals i am used to. his room was mauve, puce and the complimentary blue of those colors. there was a poster-sized dalmation photograph on the wall. his hand was sore, red and dry along the pinky which did twitch more than it didn't. his uniform made me think morrocan, even though it looked like a prison uniform. he took a hit from his "peace pipe" a nebulizer and as he did he fell in and out of sleep. looking down his legs to his ankles i cam upon his socks. which are cut, to make them looser as liquid collects in his legs, which is something i don't quite understand. grandpa's old but plays with it. the nurse comes in and asks him various questions but his answers are indirect enough to make the nurse unsure of his condition. he tells he drove, she asks where's your car? grandpa says i don't know. and pauses, she looks slightly, very-slightly worried. then after enough time elapses he tells her that sercurity moved it for him.

when we live in the past, it costs us the present.

at my grandpas. a farm. there is an anti-fur sticker on this keyboard: funny.

from an email i sent to Her:
so i got here and there was no one here. so i fell asleep thinking that grandpa would be back at anytime. while asleep i had a dream in which grandpa was sick and was giving my guff for my lack of visits. I wake up and grandpa is still not here. i call home and tell mom, she calls me back and tells me he is in the hospital. but by this time visiting hours are over and i am feeling sullen or something. so i am here on this farmstead by myself and admittedly i am a bit scared. dark and empty. only the sound of the mechanical breathing of grandpa's oxygen machine. he has canned corn and diet 7up. the water is mineral laden.

seperation is healthy, but its hard to come unglued sometimes. no one can be on guard 24/7 and no one can produce the goods for 24/7, so abscence is needed to make the time together more enjoyable. brethers, rest, seem to heighten the time then spent together, sometimes change is hard. even when for the beter.