'people running running running'

is there more than one school of thought on the subject?

should i stay in ohio where happiness is fleeting for the sake of doing something "different" & to get another diploma/sheet of paper a little quicker?

or:

should i listen to my heart?

here i am again on my ...
eh, the tyranny of distance.

nest.

time heals all wounds, but does it create them?
or rather, is it space?

poodle

have i laid down on the tracks?
is there no rescindment?

on the one hand the easy way,
the other the much harder.

things will get harder before they get easier.
how much of hard can one person take? can two persons take?

tearing down the facade.

why do we,
fuck it why do i get stuck in these situations. i mean i'm doing this b/c i feel like its what i am supposed to do. what i am supposed to do? that seems so inane. arghh.

the smell of a familiar orchid
i had the best weekend that i have had in a long time. the time spent with her was at a level we haven't experienced in awhile and it felt like goodness, a honest to goodness friend.

for·ev·er ( P ) Pronunciation Key (fôr-vr, fr-)
adv.
1. For everlasting time; eternally.
2. At all times; incessantly.
n.
1. A seemingly very long time.


i have a lot of school work to do this week, but i am dragging my heels.

"i don't like my current situation" sing it like "the never ending story"

size 6, vintage styling
this past weekend i was whisked away to urbana, illinois. hi, i am in urbana, illinois. and i had a wonderful time. the time i spent with her was marvolous, we had (i felt) a reconnection (for lack of better term) and i felt good. i am usually Grumpy McGrumps when i first arrive in urbana for any number of self-delusioned reasons. fortunately that was short lived. and for the first time i wasnt the only one outwardly 'upset' at my leaving and this made my heart heavy. i have decided that i am allowed not to like my situation here, i am allowed to change my mind. and i feel i may need to do just that.

we go through things like when one moves like - of course its going to be hard and that its something you just got to buckle down and do. but is it, why leave just to do it or for the reason it has to be done sooner or later. that rationale belongs to the absurd, but i guess i/we are irrational, but that leaves me no solace, i still think that its not something we have to do or have to live with. i am allowed to say this was silly or whatever.

today was the first day i got a little nervous about school work and with that brings a different cloud. --- my current thing is that i just want a masters degree and more or less its content is not of the most importance, i just want the methods associated within it and the sheet of paper it will afford me, which makes me think that moving somewhere else or moving back would not alter my educational/work path. its so easy not to give a shit.

job: eh, thinking about having some sort of 9-5 job does not thrill me. i dont want to do anything sometimes.

tired.

download this file for a sadistic laugh.

also i made the images up top randomize.

peas and love.