Wednesday, October 30, 2002


blue house.

it stops short of beauty,
not to say it is ugly,
but suspended.

say what you mean.

it stops short of ugly,
not to say it is beautiful,
but suspended.

Monday, October 28, 2002

they need to create within an escape,
burned my retina trying to sleep,
carboard boxes and yellow string,
ingredients to calculate the mean.

falling stars and helium ballons,
everything reminds of you.
me minus me equals you

walking backwards trying to erase,
flickering lights that already came,
its your bedtime soon,
these books have print but no words,

people want they can't have,
plastic money and burning leaves,
caustic smiles create wishes,
the waves are home to the fishes.

falling stars and helium ballons,
everything without you.
me minus me equals you

forced to launch further into the abyss,
metallic laughter turns brighter,
the lungs go go deeper.
emotions lust for the situation.

felt like a icicle melting at the tip,
carvings in the kitchen floor,
antique fossils are nevermore,
conversition over before i moved a lip.

falling stars and helium ballons,
i have forgotten you.
me minus me equals you

saw wilco tonight and they rocked it hard.

Thursday, October 24, 2002

she folds the clothes in the laundromat. She sometimes wishes that she had a washer and dryer, but not today. The smoke covered window looks out onto a busy street, she watches the cars pass without paying much attention to them. She wonders why the dryer scent on her clothes smells so good, but is so synthetic. Her mother is to meet her tonight at her house for dinner. Domesticity was not something she was akin to and because of this dinner tonight was going to be pancakes. She was not one of those people who make strange faces when people eat typical breakfast foods at other times in the day. Her mother wouldn't mind either. Maple syrup is so good, but she really like the real kind in the gray jug, but usually buys the synthetic type becuase it is cheaper. She places her laundry into the trunk of her hatchback and proceeds home. She checks the answering machine but there are no messages. No news is good news, she says aloud, liking the static nature of her life.

Tuesday, October 22, 2002

i have been saying lots of cuss words in my head.
which then leads me to thinking about the fact that i need to be more student.

i got up at 11:50 am and took a nap from 7:30-9:30pm.
wow. um, not much is up. i have some school stuff to do.

i think i have music for about four songs and about half the lyrics.

fun fun fun till daddy takes the t-bird away.

Sunday, October 20, 2002

erased the poetry tonight.

yesterday i ran in puddles/rain with my friend and went dancing with friends.
today i ate pizza,lentils and apple cider, picked apples, raced wagons on the quad, and played games in a church basement.
I have work to do tomorrow.


Friday, October 18, 2002

stop being a nay sayer worry-wort, i said to myself.

Wednesday, October 16, 2002


think of one thing and remember it,
think of one thing and remember it,
it'll be the last time you see it,
the last time,
as you were.
i can't promise you, but take it as one.

Tuesday, October 15, 2002

i want to create.
i got a test that i wanted to put on the fridge today.
go me.
'a problem forgotten is a problem solved' - snailhouse

Monday, October 14, 2002

come and gone.
all i hear is radiation.
all i fear is penetration.
i want to be alone, no one to distrust, no one to love except myself.
i still scream when i am lonely, my cure for the empty.
and i am happy with this cavity.

go to dream, go to feel well.
awake to flames, awake to hell.

frigidiness is an insulation, however oxymoronic.
these thoughts are not morose.
i am trying to remain pure, respect my request.
carrying shovel i leave this the way i entered.

go to dream, go to feel well.
awake to flames, awake to hell
go to dream, go to feel well.
awake to flames, awake to hell

return to sender, non-apologetic.
i have been cleansed,
purged for their well being,
my seething thoughts have ceased,
a haunting peace now resides.

go to dream, go to feel well.

awake i remain.

practice makes perfect.

nutrition is often forgot.

test tomorrow. hope it goes well.
still need to be less college and more student.
other that that, had a good weekend with a girl.

'full of hows, but empty of whys'

Friday, October 11, 2002

i saw matt sharp tonight (ex weezer, ex rentals) he played all acoustic very soft music for almost 2 hours. it was different, he sang about girls alot. i got two cds today, sbb/tcl split and this guy called rocky volatato they are both good. i think i have a song almost done, i am getting more comfortable with my voice and any shortcomings involved with it. ummm, thats it. i am reading the book 'desert solataire' by edward abbey, so far so good.

Wednesday, October 09, 2002

i live in the basement. no one visits just to hang out, only if they need something. alot of my relationships are like this, i have to be the initiator. or maybe i just don't wait long enough, although i don't think this is it. so i am kinda bummed right now, for multiple reasons. nothing major.

his throat swells leaving him tacit,
had things to say that are now only thoughts,

she looks beautiful tonight not in a lustful way.
she is glooming with an energy that would be hard to justify with words,
he wants to say 'stay'. he can't.

as the match's flame draws to a close and the odor fades
he can only think of the what if's.
annoyed at this.

they embrace each other, if only in their minds.
the dawn approaches and they will be gone.
but for now, they are the soul propriators.

Tuesday, October 08, 2002

in the middle so to speak. but actually i am basically on one side.

Sunday, October 06, 2002

tomorrow i want to wake up and be better,
i want to be best i want to be best.
naked in my newness,
crawling toward my new afliction: the start.

today/yesterday i ate wild rice, a banana and conrflakes. i drove to and from st louis, saw a cathedral, a zoo and a rock show. cursive wailed hard. the other bands were also good. on the way home and i didnt use the stereo either, just me and the dark. me and my mind. i had a good time.

Saturday, October 05, 2002

all we can do is be honest,
with ourselves and others.
yet this is easier said than done,
i am a witness.

Friday, October 04, 2002

i just at some yogurt (that is really a funny word) i hope it wasn't bad. in other news, i was in channel 15 news last night for like point five seconds. i helped give away free vegan food yesterday on the quad to raise vegetarian awarness. it was nice. tonight i am going to see nirvana live.
its raining now and its beautiful.
hasta entonces,

Thursday, October 03, 2002

to save the world we need to do a few things. 1.) Be an interested person. 2.) Be an interesting person. 3.) Stop professional wrestling.

i took a few exams this week, which then tells me (like always) that I need to study more and me more student and less college. Hopefully i will do better next time, not only for grades sake but also for the general education/learning process.