i hadn't vomited in 7 years.
well my body still has the capacity.
i don't like poisioning myself.

i have been working.
the doc is putting me as a coauthor on a paper, neat, sorta.
i am still playing the game that is life.
am i winning or losing? my game is not played quite like that.

i have been playing the guitar.
how are you?

i have my conception,
and you yours.
i wonder where they meet and where they don't.

i am not going to run,
i might cry.

sooner or later you'll have to choose.
I have been reading and thats great.
eating a lot of tofu.
and just having fun.
went sledding.

with all of these lights and, now, the snow the sky is purple at night. no real night time. can there be a real day then?

i have been looking at trees alot.

I got hit by a car yesterday while on my bike; fuckhead on a cell phone.
I am fine though.

It happened about 20 seconds after I was talking to my friend about not wearing helmets.
ha.

We've pushed for that embrace. It is here and it is transient, but right now it feels good and it feels like it means something. What is the something? I am not here to define something nor do i want to really. There is still hesitation and that will probably end when it all ends. How much do we protect ourselves from others and how much do we protect them from ourselves? I don't know. Why do I always want nail my heart down, because I know that when it ends it will hurt to pull that nail out and let it be free again. And with freedom I want confinement, so is that cycle really freedom then, because it appears that I choose that course of action. So it goes

nice.
nice, you are.
thank you for being you.
real skill.
running, stopping, but still moving.

trying, but i am looking forward to failure.
all over it.

my current basket:

1.) Everything is finite.
2.) Everything is ephemeral.

I am running with it, right now. Live in the now, I am so often in the future. Trying, I am, to be here: right now.

opening jars.

i am two spheres.
i am two spheres.

will your green growth consume me?

stars bleed your name.
but the light evaporates like it never came.
you are a stranger to me.
i won't tell you my thoughts / they are always in your shade.

i lay in the soil, soiled.

i wait.
until its my time to bloom,
and present my new awkwardness to you.

you know what your problem is, you don't remember.

winter is coming and i enjoy hiding in the extra garb. things are pretty static and thats ok.